Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dear No One

It has been 5 months since my Dad passed away. I miss him a lot. Every single day. Sometimes it hits me so hard that it takes my breath away. Sunday I was walking home from the grocery store when images of that day started flooding my head and it was like he died all over again. It just feels like another life another person was laying in that bed. Not my Dad. It couldn't be.

More and more I think back to that day and wish I could go back, freeze time and stay there forever. It was almost easier when the pain was right at the surface and the reality was right in front of me. I could deal with it. Believe it. If I could just go back and hang on. But I know that is silly and the reality is that it happened, it is over, and life must go on. My life must go on, because his did not and he's part of me so I do it for both of us.

And rather than pay someone $200 odd bucks an hour to say that outloud.. I blog.