Monday, October 22, 2007

Autumn is Best.

I went for a little stroll yesterday. 75 degrees & Sunny on October 21st in Wisconsin is certainly not normal. My favorite time of day is just as the sun is starting to set - this time of year its around 4-530ish and everything gets that warm glowy color & its so beautiful. I love the way the light comes through the trees and the world just looks and feels happy. I was walking through the park near Lake Michigan and there were so many people out just laying in the grass, playing frisbee, flying kites, tossing footballs and those just strolling me. The other things I love about when the weather starts to get cold include sweaters, apple cider, the smell of people burning wood in their fireplaces, cozing up with someone special and patiently waiting for winter to come.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Don't Ask. Listen.

So this guy that broke my heart - well see my parents had yet to meet him & I todl my Dad he was the nicest guy in the world (which is mostly true - except for the recent brain fart) then I told my Dad the nicest guy in the world just broke my heart & THEN I told my Dad that the nicest guy in the world wasnt so bad after all and came to his senses. This was what my Dad had to say:

"Okay, now I will get philosophical.

It is not unusual at all for someone to run from a relationship in the early stages. In fact, people run from them in later stages.
This is called divorce. Ahem.

This relationship of yours prob needs a little maturing and a great deal of patience on both sides. Months and years are not
outside the realm of need. Physical parts of the relationship don't mean much in the end. I suspect you know that. This is
not to preclude that, just do not depend upon it if that is a part of this.

On a calm stage, not one of alchohol or passion, listen. Don't ask. Try to determine, by listening to minor detail and
sticthing together a picture of what this fellow is all about. The hints will be there. But you have to LISTEN and watch.
These communcative connections occur not at party time, but in the cold light of morning with coffee or while
sitting on a bench in a park with a sandwich. Listen.

As an example, if this guy starts going on about the fact that he would never dissapoint his grandma by not visiting
at Christmas, this tells you something. It might be good. It might be bad.

But a killer is if he casually takes you on tour of his ex-lovers. That's bad. If that comes up and he does not brush
that off, he is an ego centric boob with no sensitivity. Listen. Don't ask.

You see, if you pose a question, the answer becomes contrived. The other person manipulates the response to
please you for the moment. Again, don't ask. Listen.

Enough now, good luck from you Dad. We will back in a few days. We are about to cross into Montana tomorrow.



Mostly good advice. Especially the part about how if you ask then the answer is usually what you want to hear & not necessarily the truth. Then again my Dad did leave my Mom when I was 5 so Im not sure how much he REALLY knows about relationships. But its usually a lot easier to give good sensible advice then it is to apply it to your own life.