Wow.. ok. Things are starting to change around here and not just in terms of snow melting, birds chirping stuff, as in my life.
During my college years at UW-Milwaukee I had a lot of fun, pulled off decent grades, changed my major 1/2 way through, took 18 credits most semesters, paid my own way, and somehow managed to graduate in four years without killing anyone or myself. I was so relieved when it was all over. My fellow classmates were all terrified. How would they make ends meet if they didn't find a job?! I was elated to know that now all I had to do was work. After working basically full time and going to school full time, it could only get easier. And it did. But then it got boring. Was this what I had looked forward to? Being behind a desk for the next 40 odd years of my life.. I started to feel trapped, but what else was I going to do? Go back and finish my psych degree and get my PhD, be in school and in debt forever? Nope. Find another job in my field that wasn't as boring to me? I thought about it, but all those other jobs are my clients and I see them all the time and they don't look any happier. We all have this 'live to work' mentality. I wanted to work to live (i think i caught that bug on my recent Europe trip). I at least wanted to do something that felt less like work. I figured if I'm going to work for beans, I may as well seek out something that makes me happy enough not to care.
But how.. when...do I have the balls to take a risk and start over? I wasn't really so sure. All this 'soul - searching' started when my Dad was sick and dying. I was so pissed off being at work, doing a job I hated that made no difference to anyone while I could have been spending precious time with my Dad. That's when I made a deal with myself. Right before he passed away in late August of 2009, I gave myself two years. I told myself that I had two years to really figure out what I wanted to do and start the steps to make that change.
Now, after 4 years of nearly drowning in undergrad in Journalism and then 5 years of working a job that I enjoyed and now loathe I am starting all over. As of Fall 2011 semester (just as my 2 year deadline is up) I will be back in full student mode. This time as a Baking & Pastry Arts student. I found out yesterday that my number was up and I was no longer wait-listed. I went through several emotions in 5 seconds... starting with happy moving on to sad, then terrified and wrapping up somewhere between excited and hopeful.
I'll spare you the details as to how I landed in Baking & Pastry arts, but that's where I've landed. Soon I will have to break the news to the powers that be here at my family-sized office. I'll be happy to leave the job, but sad to leave the people.
But before I begin my journey into chocolates, pastries, and more flour than you can possibly imagine.. I am taking a break. I have been going to school, working or some combination of the two since I was 14. This summer I will be doing neither. June 8th my brother and I are packing up and heading to Europe and won't return until August 11th. Just enough time to unpack, unwind, find part time jobs and start school.
I think my life is about to get more interesting. I hope that I'm able to articulate that here. I hope that someone out there not happy with their current situation stumbles here and maybe thinks they can start over too. Nothing worth doing is ever easy and I just hope that my Dad would be proud of me taking a chance to do what makes me happy.