As the work winds down to a mere 2.5 hours I am starting to think about the weekend ahead and I realized - eh not much happening lady. I love when I have nothing of consequence going on, but sometimes it can be bad because then the little stuff I have to do doesnt get done. Why you ask? Well, if I think I have an infinite amount of weekend time and no schedule to speak off I put it all off and off until its Sunday afternoon and I dont want to fill what is left with chores. So since it is one of those weekends of nothing - I am going to make a to do list. And share it with you (whoever you are). Perhaps if I feel I'm being held accountable I will get it done.
1. Friday - Wash a load of Darks... otherwise I will be starting a fashion known as "Naked Mondays". I live in Wisconsin so that's just not acceptable. Frost bite.. no thanks.
2. Tidy Up. The kitten has been making a mess of Christmas and I need to fix it. Maybe he is just trying to tell me he doesn't like how I put the ornaments on the tree and this is just his way of telling me. Everyone's a critic.
3. Saturday - Hop in the RAV with the BFF and head to GoodWill and JO-Ann Fabrics in search of Ugly Christmas Sweaters for an Ugly Christmas Sweater party.
4. Drink Vino and watch Cheesy Christmas movies on TV & Perhaps make this red grape and pecorino pizza I saw a recipe for today.
5. Sunday - Make Truffles - I ordered this little bitty dough scoop that will be perfect for this and it arrived today. Using a spoon and trying to roll chocolate is hard. It melts in your hands folks. First up... PB Truffles or perhaps Mint? Can't decide.
6. Finish Reading, "Among the Thugs" so I can return it to the library :)
When did my life get to be so boring. I think perhaps it is time to change the name of my blog to "Knit & Snore."
Eesh.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
F is for Fall. F is for Figs. Coincidence?
I like to think of myself as a bit of a foodie, if you will. I don't pretend to know what I am doing or be able to tell you what's in that sauce, but I like to learn and try new things. And who better to test these things on than my friends??
A very good friend of mine was having a wine & movie girl night so I told her I'd make something yummy. At least I'd hoped it be yummy. Most of the cookbooks I have are not big on appetizers so I wandered over to the Food Network to find something worthy. With so many choices I clicked on In Season Now and thought figs sounded like my best bet. I ended up making Pecorino Romano with Apples and Fig Jam. I even made my own fig jam (which was REALLY easy).
The only difference in mine and the photo below was the color of the jam. Mine was bit more purpley. I used dried black mission figs from Whole Foods. I scored the store for at least 25 minutes before I finally asked someone where they were. I'd found fresh figs and all other sorts of fig things, but no dried figs. Apparently, as the help desk person was so kind to inform me, I'd been staring right at them! All the bulk fruits and nuts and there they were.. alphabetically no doubt. Oh well. Then of course because I was then kinda nervous I dropped one on the floor and before I had a chance to grab it someone walked by and stepped on it. I suppose I could have scraped that up and used it as fig jam.. no? Ok.
Now that I'd gathered all my ingredients I went home to make all the pieces to then assemble later at my friend's house. I was really nervous thinking people would turn up their noses at figs. I mean its not something I know of many people eating everyday, but its not as if they are exotic or anything. Though I do have a very funny side story about a fig tree in Orvieto, Italy, but that is for another day. Anyway.. I toasted the baguettes and put it all together on pretty platter, walked back in to the kitchen to make more, walked back out and half had ben devoured. Success!!! Even more so when I said that I'd made the fig jam myself, but then of course I told them it was absolutely simple.(side note on the hazlenuts: if you cant find roasted... throw some on a pan in the oven and watch them closely until they get a golden brown and then crush them up - the flavor makes a big difference - like 350 degrees for 5minutes maybe).
My favorite part was the cheese. I love cheese. It is very important for these treats that you are sure to get the Pecorino Romano. It has such a great flavor. This particular cheese is quite sharp. So sharp that is actually a bit spicy. Anyway, that was my Fig story. Leave it to Giada De Laurentiis I just love her and her recipes always rock. Another one of hers are the pizzettes with carmelized onions and goat cheese!!!! I love food!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Country Road.. Take Me Home...
I guess it is finally time to write about it. After all, it has been a month since it happened.
My Dad, Jack J Magestro, Born 9-24-53, passed away on 8-21-09 at 10:45pm after a long long battle with liver disease. I was there for the very end. It was the oddest experience I have ever had. One would think I'd say the saddest, but it was just too surreal to be sad.
The nurses tried for days and days to stop the bleeding in his body, but with out being able to pinpoint its location and all the procedures too risky, they said there was nothing more we can do but make him comfortable. A month earlier from then I thought he was on the up and that a liver transplant might just be possible. He fought to the very end just like he promised he would. We moved him down to palliative care and were told it could be hours it could be days. I prayed for hours. I didn't want him to suffer anymore.
My Dad really like 70s music and in his car was a tape (yes a tape) of John Denver. So my Brother ran out to get a CD player and some John Denver to pass the time. Dad wasn't conscious (hadnt been for several days) but somewhere deep down I knew he could hear it. Just like I knew that we were all there. As we sat there laughing, crying and reminiscing I noticed his breathing change. It began to slow and become shallow. This, we were told, was part of the "process." The process of dying of course. So I scooted myself to sit next to him on the bed, held his hand and stroked his lustrous dark chestnut hair (55 not a bit of gray). Everyone around me was crying, but I just whispered in his ear that it was ok to go. He promised me he would fight and he did, as long as he could, but now it was time to let go. To be at peace. Finally. Then, his breathing stopped, his heart beat followed and I just sorta sat there, not really able to comprehend the weight of what had just happened. Even as the Dr came in, declared him and eventually he turned cold, it felt so strange. My Dad was gone. He died right before my eyes.
The weirdest thing of all was the slight feeling of envy I had for him. As he was dying I found myself feeling slightly jealous because he was about to find out what happens next. He would know now and none of us do. As far as my 'faith' goes, I don't really know what I believe. But if he went somewhere or nowhere the mystery has ended for him. With this, I also have found myself no longer afraid of death (I used to be TERRIFIED!!!) because I figure if my Dad can do it, so can I. I know that sounds so weird but its true. Not that I want to die, I certainly have no plans to, but I feel a new freedom. I will live until I die and there's no sense in dwelling on it.
Then we went to the bar and had some Scotch.
The next day was filled with Funeral arrangements, TONS of phone calls and the week that followed was not much different. Wednesday was the service. Over 100 people came (my Dad not one of them as he was off to be cremated and didnt want a service) and it warmed my heart to see a line outside. He was such a private man,but yet he touched the lives of many. Thursday, I did not get out of bed until 6pm, and I ignored all my calls. Me and the kitty just hid under the covers.
Now, a month has passed and things still feel weird. I still don't feel that he is gone and I still haven't really cried. His 56th birthday is this Thursday, perhaps it will hit me then. Or maybe the last year was such a struggle and the fear of him dying was worse than the real thing, that I've already done my grieving. Time will tell.
I love you Dad. I'll always be your little girl.
My Dad, Jack J Magestro, Born 9-24-53, passed away on 8-21-09 at 10:45pm after a long long battle with liver disease. I was there for the very end. It was the oddest experience I have ever had. One would think I'd say the saddest, but it was just too surreal to be sad.
The nurses tried for days and days to stop the bleeding in his body, but with out being able to pinpoint its location and all the procedures too risky, they said there was nothing more we can do but make him comfortable. A month earlier from then I thought he was on the up and that a liver transplant might just be possible. He fought to the very end just like he promised he would. We moved him down to palliative care and were told it could be hours it could be days. I prayed for hours. I didn't want him to suffer anymore.
My Dad really like 70s music and in his car was a tape (yes a tape) of John Denver. So my Brother ran out to get a CD player and some John Denver to pass the time. Dad wasn't conscious (hadnt been for several days) but somewhere deep down I knew he could hear it. Just like I knew that we were all there. As we sat there laughing, crying and reminiscing I noticed his breathing change. It began to slow and become shallow. This, we were told, was part of the "process." The process of dying of course. So I scooted myself to sit next to him on the bed, held his hand and stroked his lustrous dark chestnut hair (55 not a bit of gray). Everyone around me was crying, but I just whispered in his ear that it was ok to go. He promised me he would fight and he did, as long as he could, but now it was time to let go. To be at peace. Finally. Then, his breathing stopped, his heart beat followed and I just sorta sat there, not really able to comprehend the weight of what had just happened. Even as the Dr came in, declared him and eventually he turned cold, it felt so strange. My Dad was gone. He died right before my eyes.
The weirdest thing of all was the slight feeling of envy I had for him. As he was dying I found myself feeling slightly jealous because he was about to find out what happens next. He would know now and none of us do. As far as my 'faith' goes, I don't really know what I believe. But if he went somewhere or nowhere the mystery has ended for him. With this, I also have found myself no longer afraid of death (I used to be TERRIFIED!!!) because I figure if my Dad can do it, so can I. I know that sounds so weird but its true. Not that I want to die, I certainly have no plans to, but I feel a new freedom. I will live until I die and there's no sense in dwelling on it.
Then we went to the bar and had some Scotch.
The next day was filled with Funeral arrangements, TONS of phone calls and the week that followed was not much different. Wednesday was the service. Over 100 people came (my Dad not one of them as he was off to be cremated and didnt want a service) and it warmed my heart to see a line outside. He was such a private man,but yet he touched the lives of many. Thursday, I did not get out of bed until 6pm, and I ignored all my calls. Me and the kitty just hid under the covers.
Now, a month has passed and things still feel weird. I still don't feel that he is gone and I still haven't really cried. His 56th birthday is this Thursday, perhaps it will hit me then. Or maybe the last year was such a struggle and the fear of him dying was worse than the real thing, that I've already done my grieving. Time will tell.
I love you Dad. I'll always be your little girl.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
hold on for one more day
On days that I remember I have an email account other than my work one, I go to it and find that I have missed several 'quotes of the day' from Runners World. Well today was very befitting for me right now, but a good thought for anyone.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
Theodore Roosevelt
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
Theodore Roosevelt
Monday, August 10, 2009
Meet Ollie
Let me begin by saying what a dog person I am. I have wanted a dog of my own since, well forever, but realistically since I graduated college. Unfortunately, most apartments in the city of Milwaukee have a problem with residents of the canine persuasion. As many of you know (I say that as if people actually read my blog) my life has a hit a bit of rough patch lately. With my Dad being sick, and quite likely near the end of the road, my stepmother making his last days a living hell, and the guy I thought was going to be 'the guy', turning in to a grade A asshole.. I needed something to love. So, I decided it was time to get a cat. I think.
Friday, Aug 7th, which I have now deemed as official asshole day, I decided to take myself to the humane society and have a look at the kittys. While a tiny little furball would be great, my intention was to adopt a cat that was over a year because they are free. Well, of course, I fell in love with a 5 month old blue & white tabby. His name was Humphry, but I decided to name him Ollie.
I went in to his little room, scooped him up and then we played a little. After I put him back I walked away to get some perspective. Did I really want this little guy or was it an impulse. Well, I walked back to his cage and some one was looking in there and he was just happily playing. As soon as I crouched down and had his attention, he came running up to the glass, put his paws up and meowed. And that was that. I was his person. He was coming home with me.
He's a very playful, affectionate and well-behaved kitten. Doesn't scratch, loves toys, and most importantly.. had no trouble getting acquainted with his litter box. He was exactly what I needed and now we're pals for life. Isn't he adorable?!?!?!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Perspective
I think in last few weeks, month maybe, I've started to learn a lot more about myself, what I want to do, whats really important in life, and when to say enough is enough.
A while back I wrote an entry about my Dad, and that he was dying. Well I guess thats partially true. I mean we are all dying aren't we. (my thats glass half empty isnt it?). Originally the Doc thought 6 months at best due to his condition at the time, but he was really quite healthy and managed to stay out of the hospital for quite some time. A few months ago, around my birthday, he started another downhill journey. Thanks to my fucking insane stepmother, he's now in a nursing home. 55 years old and in a nursing home. She claims she cant take care of him so his Doc "prescribed" a nursing home. He's been there for a week and I've been there almost every day to see him. The first day I was there I was a MESS. He told me he felt so alone, betrayed and abandoned and cried. It was almost too much to take. I brought my Mom with me that day (his ex-wife) which he actually seemed to like. I think it made him feel comforted that the person in his life the should care the least, actually really cares a lot.
The point of all of this is that it made me realize that it really is never too late to make amends, or tell people how you feel. Life is too damn short to keep it all bottled up. You never know when you're going to get your last chance. I hope that my Dad continues to get better and they get him the new liver that he needs, but if he doesnt at least I'll know I made the most of what time he has left.
There are other people in my life, ok one in particular, that I wish would realize how short life is and that needing people or letting them see your weaknesses is ok. But you can't change people. People can change, but they have to do it on their own. I just have to learn to find peace in the fact that I've done and said everything that I can to let them know I care. If you love something let it go right.....
I've mentioned a lot lately that I don't really like what I'm doing anymore, that it feels meaningless. Well, after spending a few days in a nursing home surrounded by people that need people it made me realize what direction to maybe head in. No, I dont want to be a nurse or anything, but I want to help people in some way. I just have to figure out how. Not everyone is as lucky as my Dad to have people come see him everyday. So as I'm walking around doing things for my Dad, people are always asking me to grab this or that, call a nurse or something, and to see the insanely grateful look on someone's face when all you did was change the channel for them is really something.
I never thought I could handle all of this, but I seem to be, not sure how, but I am. My Mom keeps telling what a wonderful woman I've turned into. I guess I just think, why wouldnt I go see my Dad every day that I can. It just feels like a no brainer. If that makes me wonderful, well then I guess I am. I just see it as being a good daughter for my Dad.
A while back I wrote an entry about my Dad, and that he was dying. Well I guess thats partially true. I mean we are all dying aren't we. (my thats glass half empty isnt it?). Originally the Doc thought 6 months at best due to his condition at the time, but he was really quite healthy and managed to stay out of the hospital for quite some time. A few months ago, around my birthday, he started another downhill journey. Thanks to my fucking insane stepmother, he's now in a nursing home. 55 years old and in a nursing home. She claims she cant take care of him so his Doc "prescribed" a nursing home. He's been there for a week and I've been there almost every day to see him. The first day I was there I was a MESS. He told me he felt so alone, betrayed and abandoned and cried. It was almost too much to take. I brought my Mom with me that day (his ex-wife) which he actually seemed to like. I think it made him feel comforted that the person in his life the should care the least, actually really cares a lot.
The point of all of this is that it made me realize that it really is never too late to make amends, or tell people how you feel. Life is too damn short to keep it all bottled up. You never know when you're going to get your last chance. I hope that my Dad continues to get better and they get him the new liver that he needs, but if he doesnt at least I'll know I made the most of what time he has left.
There are other people in my life, ok one in particular, that I wish would realize how short life is and that needing people or letting them see your weaknesses is ok. But you can't change people. People can change, but they have to do it on their own. I just have to learn to find peace in the fact that I've done and said everything that I can to let them know I care. If you love something let it go right.....
I've mentioned a lot lately that I don't really like what I'm doing anymore, that it feels meaningless. Well, after spending a few days in a nursing home surrounded by people that need people it made me realize what direction to maybe head in. No, I dont want to be a nurse or anything, but I want to help people in some way. I just have to figure out how. Not everyone is as lucky as my Dad to have people come see him everyday. So as I'm walking around doing things for my Dad, people are always asking me to grab this or that, call a nurse or something, and to see the insanely grateful look on someone's face when all you did was change the channel for them is really something.
I never thought I could handle all of this, but I seem to be, not sure how, but I am. My Mom keeps telling what a wonderful woman I've turned into. I guess I just think, why wouldnt I go see my Dad every day that I can. It just feels like a no brainer. If that makes me wonderful, well then I guess I am. I just see it as being a good daughter for my Dad.
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